Last year, I met a friend – let’s call him Brian – for a beer, and he greeted me by admitting, “I think I’m going to get fired.”
Earlier that afternoon, Brian was in a meeting with the CEO of his firm, and the CEO “barely said a word” to him, looked down the whole time and rushed out of the room “so he wouldn’t have to talk to” Brian.
In fairness, the firm was going through some challenging times and it seemed likely that some people would be let go. But Brian’s entire demeanor that day was based on his perception of how his CEO interacted with him.
Brian wasn’t fired, is still there and seems to remain in good standing. He completely misperceived his CEO’s behaviors, which almost certainly had nothing whatsoever to do with Brian. Maybe the CEO was worried about a deal gone south. Perhaps he was coming down with a cold. There are hundreds of reasons why any one of us might be quiet, sullen or rushed.
Unfortunately, when you are a leader, the people around you are forever trying to calibrate whether your reactions indicate approval or disapproval.
There are two ways you can react to this truism.
1. You can act any way you damn well please, and leave it to your employees to develop thicker skins. There are plenty of leaders who favor this approach, and it has some merits.
2. You can realize that we expect more of our leaders, and as a result you have an obligation to be more in command of your actions than a random person on the street. In other words, you need to hold yourself to a higher standard.
I’d like to suggest that you embrace number 2.
In a perfect world, your company would always be firing on all cylinders and no one would be afraid for his or her job. In the real world, some employees are always nervous or in need of encouragement. As a leader, you can accomplish much with a genuine smile, a kind word, or a small bit of guidance. Your opinion matters, and everyone else knows it.
This influence is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it requires you to act cheerful when you are tired and hungry. On the other, it enables you to motivate others without exerting that much energy. Simply by saying something to the effect of, “Sarah, that was a spectacular piece of work,” you can probably boost Sarah’s morale for an entire quarter.
I’m not telling you anything you don’t know. My purpose today isn’t to reveal some great secret passed down from generation to generation.
I’m simply trying to remind you that when you let down your guard, there are consequences. If you (seem to) ignore or avoid the people you are supposed to be leading, they will notice. You will accidentally upset the very people it is your job to inspire.
If you consider yourself a leader, you must be constantly vigilant regarding the small social signals you offer to the people around you. Never demoralize someone accidentally. For that matter, don't do it deliberately either, but that's a subject for another post.
This story originally appeared on Forbes.
In my view, a leader's reaction and words are really important, it's a bridge for you to get closer to your junior/follower, to understand more about them and from there, you motivate them if necessary. Even though you are tired or being emotional, try not to throw your temper to your junior as this will create some unnecessary misunderstanding between you two. As the word "junior", it means they are lack of experience and new to the field. It's normal if they make mistake, but guide them patiently, do not scold them immediately, understand their problem and why they will do like this. NEVER ever say something that will demotivate or demoralize them, for example "why are you so stupid", "this is so not meaningful", "did you bring your brain to work", "simple things also you can make mistake"; no smile on your face, bang the door loud, raise your volume, etc... All these will just make your followers to be afraid of you or hate you.
Thus, perhaps you can twist your words by saying "Your work is good, but it can be improved further. You may want to try to add in this and that so that it can make your work perfect?". I think this is more encouraging and can motivate them to work harder. No one likes to get scolded. Imagine if you are working hard on one of the projects, and your superior straight away comment that your work is so lousy and not giving his suggestion or direction to you to improve further, what will you feel? Very demotivated and don't feel like working on it anymore right as you feel your hard work is not being valued. This reminded me of one of my friends who always complain that his boss only knows how to scold, but never give the solution, that makes thing harder. By accumulating all the pressure and complaint, you will see your followers will want to resign.
In a nutshell, a leader who is good in managing his/her EQ , you will be loved by your followers.
It seems like I have off topic. LOL
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| Courtesy of Visually Infographic |
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| Courtesy of Empathia |
