I am not sure if I am happy.
I think I have lost myself.
The world is so fake, I am fake.
It feels like I am living in a paper towns.
What do I want in life?
Money? Love? Health?
I love you at first.
and I think I am still loving you.
Did you see the word "think"?
Yes, I doubt myself now.
I still think about you,
or maybe the past of you.
but it's blur,
there's nothing in my mind.
I called your name everyday.
but I can't feel the pounding heart.
maybe I din't see you for quite sometime,
but I am sure I did not forget you.
Home, is where I live,
but I don't feel like going home.
I just want to stay somewhere else,
alone.
The conversation is connected but disconnected,
if you understand what I mean.
Who am I?
I wish you can tell me.
Work, the robotic routine.
but I don't see myself mastering anything.
perhaps I do not like the job,
or this field.
I am annoyed, I am bored.
I wanted to leave, but I have no where to go.
I just need a living fees.
Passion? Interest?
Who are they?
Do I have one?
I am not sure.
Healthy body, is no longer with me.
I am suffering from a goddamn abdominal pain.
It's so pain that I can barely walk when it's back.
Scanning, urine test, ultrasound or whatever test,
but the result said I am healthy.
only myself know the pain.
This post is so random but it is true.
It happens, but it just doesn't exist.
Hello Friday.
*****
A few hours later, I can feel the pounding heart when I look at your photos.
The feeling never gone.
I miss you, my dear.
Next few hours, I received your text..
aww that feeling is back!!!
